Can a Leopard Change its Spots?

So here's the thing. I had the most exciting shopping spree of my life last week, I went out of my comfort zone and tried on lots of 'different' things and came away with a new look and four new outfits.

Easier than I thought and much more fun than I expected.

Then came the hard part. I've actually got to WEAR these clothes - and for a whole day at a time, not just for a couple of minutes flouncing around the changing room in front of the mirror.

I have to admit that I am that person who buys something new but leaves it in the shopping bag for weeks on end before even hanging it up, let alone wearing it.

So this time I did it differently. The outfits came out of the carrier immediately and I hung them on the outside of my wardrobe so that they could shout 'WEAR ME' every time I looked at them.

Day 1 went well - piece of cake - even sent Nicki at 'Dream On' a text to boast about my achievement.

Day 2 - slight waver. Almost reached for the good old, comfortable favourite, but resisted. But already I could feel the pull of familiarity trying to edge its way back in. I realised that Day 3 would fail unless I acquired a couple of additional items (leggings and flatties), so I took another trip out and snapped those up, easy as wink.

Which meant that Day 3 was a success - three new items all at once. And armed and ready for Day 4.

But all of this got me thinking. How ridiculous does this sound?  How difficult is it to buy new clothes and to wear them? Well, for most people it's not difficult at all, but it is for me.

The reality of this is - it's not the clothes that are the problem, it's change. Initiating change in our lives is hard. First we have to recognise the need for change, then we have to implement it. This may require us to seek help but we must be willing to not only ask for help, but also to receive the guidance that is offered (thank you, Nicki).

But it doesn't stop there. We need to work hard in order to keep the momentum going, to recognise our potential to revert to old, to anticipate this happening and to put things in place to ensure we stay on our new path. And the beauty of it is - the more we do it, the better we get at it. Yes, change is hard - it requires constant awareness and effort in the beginning, but soon it becomes second nature and is our new zone of comfort.

Day 5 and 6 a breeze. Day 7 was a slob out day so back to days of old, but Week 2 - here I come and I'm on to it!

I Hate Shopping! (Or rather, I used to ...)

I have always hated shopping.

Living as I do with a family of termites, I regard the onerous task of food shopping along similar lines to painting the Severn Bridge. Whilst I couldn't physically squash any more food into my trolley or my cupboards, there never seemed to be anything to eat in our house. My big shop was not so much monthly as bi-weekly! I flirted once or twice with the internet variety with free delivery, but still lost the will to live.

My saving grace was making myself shop in a different store and being determined to buy totally different products. OK, so there was still nothing much to eat in our house, but it certainly was a lot more interesting than the same old, same old in Sainsbury's. And I sort of enjoyed the experience - rash words, coming from me!

My biggest stumbling block however has always been shopping for clothes. At 5'2'', size 6/8 and long body/short legs,  I could never find anything to fit. I often resorted to browsing the children's departments - cheaper by far, but at 51 years of age, didn't think Tinkerbell fairies and butterflies was a good look for me. Teen clothes were a slightly better bet, but didn't want to risk the mutton/lamb dilemma and Grown Up's shops seem to assume that everybody my height is also fat.

I've never needed an excuse to give up on shopping - that feeling comes naturally and very quickly, usually overwhelming me after the first 5 minutes. That is - until today!

So what was different about today? I went to this fabulous shop - Dream On www.facebook.com/DreamOnSuffolk - I allowed myself plenty of time, opened my mind to new ideas and allowed someone to help me. Nicki fetched and carried for me, found me loads of things to try on (and in my size, AND most of them fitted). She could instantly pick up on how certain outfits made me feel, and didn't ever try to pressure me or push her own opinion onto me.

With Nicki's help, I brought about change and it feels GREAT!! Sometimes we all need a Nicki - but we also need to open our minds, move out of our comfort zone, give ourselves time and accept help.

Who's for the Chop?

Demand for cosmetic surgery rose by 17% last year, the biggest increase since the onset of the recession in 2008, leading to such comments as 'The UK public as well as the economy are getting back into shape'. 

Apparently requests for liposuction increased by a massive 41%, with breast implants, face lifts and Botox becoming increasingly popular.

But I find all of this quite frankly, rather worrying. I feel that it's a sad state of affairs that some people put so much importance on their looks. The surgical option is a form of denial - people are refusing to accept the course of nature and are trying to become something that they're not.  

I also see this as a form of insecurity, poor self-image and low self-esteem. Some are convinced that their small breasts/baggy eyes/wrinkles/wonky nose make them completely unattractive to others. How wrong can they be? After all, real beauty is on the inside and not just skin deep.

And how shallow is the person who says, 'I don't fancy my partner any more because they're going bald/they've got middle-aged spread/they've got a saggy bottom and breasts'? What about the person on the inside? Quite likely they're not the same as the 'younger model' - rather, they have probably become more rounded and mature, like a fine wine. Perhaps it's time for that person with shallow sentiments to follow suit and to work on seeing the bigger picture. 

So before you bare all and put yourself under the knife, consider the alternatives. Far cheaper, safer and much more fulfilling is to work on your INNER beauty - and this you can only do yourself, when the time is right and when you are ready to do so. And because it comes from you, and only you, it brings with it an immense sense of achievement and a change in attitude - and many rewards which will last a life time. 

Five Element Acupuncture can help you find your way back to you, to rediscover your inner beauty so that you can glow once more. www.jobanthorpe.co.uk - ring for a no obligation, informal chat in strictest confidence.

And unlike surgery, it's relatively pain free!

Life is an Attitude - If you Don't Like your Life, Change your Attitude

For some, the January Blues are really here - good and proper.

It's the time of the natural down turn after all the hype and frenetic lead up to Christmas; the weather's cold,wet and dull and the next payday seems YEARS away.

This is the time of year when those who are prone to depression can experience their lowest of lows, and even some naturally cheerful souls struggle to keep their chins up.

It is human nature to have the tendency to point fingers and to heap the blame for how we're feeling onto something or someone else. How often have you heard yourself saying 'Life would be so much easier if only I just had more ...(money/time/etc)' or 'I'd be so much happier if my ..(job/partner/car/etc) wasn't so rubbish' and so on.

None of those things are MAKING us feel the way we do - we're actually doing that all by ourselves. It is us, and us alone, who are solely responsible for the way we feel. We're the ones doing the feeling - nobody else is doing the feeling for us.

So - how to change?

Here's where the change in attitude comes in. Focus on the positives - the things you HAVE got and the things you HAVE achieved. OK, so things perhaps aren't perfect and there may be room for improvement - but equally things could be far worse.

Accept yourself for who you are - be a bit more forgiving of yourself and others. None of us is perfect and the sooner we realise that, then the easier life becomes.

Praise yourself for doing the best you can at any one time. Keep your expectations more realistic and aim for 51% achievement - that's enough to start with.

Subtle changes in the way you relate to others can bring about significant changes in the way others relate to you - sometimes you have to be the bigger person and make the first move (if you don't, then you may have to wait a lifetime for other people to make the changes in themselves that you're looking for!)

Five Element Acupuncture treatment can facilitate change and support you through a period of transition. If any of the above resonates with you and you would like to work on your own changes, then please don't hesitate to contact me - www.jobanthorpe.co.uk

New Year's Resolutions: Good Idea/Bad Idea?

Well, here we are - we've made it through the silly season and into the New Year. We may have over-indulged slightly (understatement!) and are probably feeling unfit, unhealthy, fat and frumpy. And then, lo and behold, before we even realise what has happened, in a moment of emotion-fuelled, good intention and madness - there! It's been said - the dreaded NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!

Soo - what has been your tipple this last year? Alcohol, smoking, drugs, energy drinks, junk food, cake, chocolate?

And which of these have you pledged to give up, as of the first of 2014? One week in - how's it going?

If it's all going good guns - then well done you! Way to go!

If you're starting to weaken, or have thrown in the towel already, then don't be too hard on yourself because chances are, you were probably not destined to succeed from the very outset. 

And here's why.

Consuming any of the above-mentioned tipples may have started out as being a bit of a treat, a spot of harmless indulgence. They can pick us up when we're feeling a bit down, or give us a bit of a boost when we're feeling flat. But before we know it, the harmless indulgence has become a habit - and we need more and more of the same in order to achieve anything like that original 'buzz'. Habits can be very difficult to break - and there is a fine line between a habit, an excess and an addiction - it's all down to quantity.  

If a tipple is proving difficult to give up then it may be because it is being used as a coping mechanism, serving to fill a void left empty by a very stressful, traumatic or unhappy time in life. Quitting will always fail unless we go some way to resolving the source of unhappiness or stress, and our body starts to regain a better balance. 

So we shouldn't beat ourselves up for not succeeding - we have to be in the right place emotionally for anything to stick. Five Element Acupuncture can be a very beneficial treatment regime to help reconcile emotional issues. For more information or to find out whether you might benefit from a course of treatments, then visit www.jobanthorpe.co.uk. All enquiries in strictest confidence.

So, How Was it for You?

Christmas is rather like sex. Really? How so?

Just think about it. Some people take a while to warm to the idea; others are up for it right from the word go, any day, any time; there are those who relish the slow build up to a stupendous crescendo, but some enjoy a last minute rush and wouldn't have it any other way. But there are always those that are left feeling disappointed after the event - all that promise and expectation, but in reality you're left feeling ruffled and empty, with a mess to clear up. So what can be done?

If it's not working, then something needs to change. 

Change doesn't necessarily have to be anything too drastic - a change of approach and/or attitude is much simpler and can be surprisingly effective - but it does require a concerted effort and a bit of work to resist the temptation to revert to what went before. And this applies to both sex and Christmas!

In the case of Christmas - there seems to be a real Marmite thing going on. People either love it or hate it. For me, Christmas this year was wonderful, magical and joyous, with lots of giving and receiving -  gifts, food and good company. But it hasn't always been like this. I lost my Christmas mojo for a while and I felt I'd become a real Humbugger - I even had the hat to prove it.

But now I've got it back - and some! So what changed for me?

Firstly I recognised  the fact that I didn't like being a Christmas Grumpalump and wanted to feel the magic of Christmas once more. I then identified all the things I thought I hated about Christmas - the commercialism, the feeling of hollow giving, the competitiveness and the enormous feeling of overwhelm at the thought of shopping and food . And finally I changed my approach completely, and strangely enough, my change in attitude just followed on by itself.

And the one simple thing that made all the difference? 

Asking for help - and accepting it gratefully and gracefully when offered, in it's very varied shape and form. 

I still hate Marmite though - can't win 'em all!

The Best Christmas Present Ever!

Forget elbowing through crowds, late night shopping and on-line trawling. Here's an idea for the best Christmas present ever! 

You don't have to spend a fortune on it - nor do you have to hunt high and low and then spend hours queuing up at the check out. It's suitable for all ages, sizes and genders and it's not difficult to wrap. Veggies will love it just as much as omnivores - it's 100% organic, locally grown and totally PC. It's even compatible across all platforms.

It's very simple, yet powerful and comes in a very neat package. Guessed what it is yet? 

It's TIME. 

Just four little letters, but you can make it last for as long as you want.

Spending QUALITY TIME with family, friends and loved ones at Christmas speaks volumes - far more than anything money can buy. Time allows us to reconnect, to listen and to show that we care.

But surprising though how such a simple gift can prove for some to be so hard to give. 

Time is something we have precious little of in this day and age, so it is important that we use it wisely and we're selective about who we share it with. What a wonderful gift it is to be able to give 100% of our undivided attention to those closest to our hearts. We can exercise a little self-discipline by switching off  the TV and our mobile phones; if we don't double-book then we won't need to clock watch or plan our exit before we've even sat down. We need to allow ourselves time to give quality time to others.

So how much will you be giving this Christmas?